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[title] => Sve više zahtjeva imaju agencije koje spajaju partnere isključivo da bi imali dijete, ne i romantičan odnos, jedan par podijelio je svoju priču
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U proteklih godinu dana u porastu su agencije i stranice koje omogućavaju ljudima da nađu partnere, međutim ne za romantičnu vezu nego zajedničkih svjetonazora u pitanjima vezanima za roditeljstvo kako bi skupa imali dijete. Gay muškarci i žene odavno se tako nalaze i dogovaraju kako bi mogli imati djecu, ali sada to radi i sve veći broj heteroseksualnih partnera, piše The Guardian.
Jenica Anderson i Stephen DuVal upoznali su se preko jedne takve stranice. Ona je iz SAD-a, a on Kanađanin. Oboje su pokušali pronaći osobu s kojom će se prvo sami intimno povezati, pa tek onda razmišljati o djeci, ali im to nije polazilo za rukom. Kako su već u kasnim tridesetima zaključili su da bi bilo dobro što prije dobiju dijete i prijavili su se na istu stranicu.
Njihove biografije pokazivale su da imaju slične stavove po pitanju obrazovanja i zdravstva, da imaju slične prihode, da su im pogledi na život u ključnim stvarima uglavnom slični i da traže istu stvar, osobu s kojom bi mogli u neromantičnom odnosu dobiti dijete.
Prvi put su se nakon dugih razgovora našli u Vancouveru u Kanadi. Susret opisuju nalik dateu, išli su planinariti, kupali su se u jezeru i uživali u razgovoru, osim što nije bilo napetosti i oboje su bili posve iskreni da su tu zbog zajedničkog cilja.
Ovo je poprilično novi fenomen kojim se prva počela baviti profesorica Susan Golombok sa Sveučilišta Cambridge. Ona je proučavala obitelji između gay majki i očeva, majki koje su samohrane odlukom, donacije sperme, jaja i surogat majčinstvo. Njeni zaključci su da je i u takvim odnosima vrlo povoljno za dijete da su roditelji bliski i međusobno povezani te da imaju kvalitetnu komunikaciju. U tome im čak mogu pomoći ovi pojednostavljeni odnosi u kojima nema kompliciranja zbog prijašnjih emocija.
Anderson kaže kako je ona jako htjela da njeno dijete ima oca pa nije htjela zatrudnjeti tek tako s bilo kim. Iskustvo je skupila u svom prvom braku iz kojeg ima sina. Ona i njen muž rastavili su se vrlo brzo nakon što se rodio dječak, ali su ostali u odličnim odnosima radi njega i to joj je dalo vjeru da to može napraviti opet.
Njeni roditelji nisu bili toliko uvjereni, smatra da im je njena odluka donijela mnogo besanih noći. Njezin otac je govorio da se brine oko financija, ali ona sumnja da su se oboje djelomično pitali koliko je moralno to što čini.
Postoji više metoda kako zatrudnjeti, neki parovi odlaze na umjetnu oplodnju, neki u kući pokušavaju zanijeti metodom velike šprice dok neki parovi koji osjećaju djelomičnu privlačnost i povezanost zatrudne na prirodan način. To je bio slučaj i kod ovoga para. U početku su mislili da će ići kliničkim putem, ali nakon što su proveli neko vrijeme skupa shvatili su da nema potrebe. Ona je pratila svoju ovulaciju i na zajedničkom putovanju ostala je trudna.
Jedan drugi par ima nešto drugačiju priču. Njih dvoje su prvo preko agencije pokušali kao par, ali kada to nije išlo shvatili su da su im pogledi na svijet slični i odlučili se barem imati dijete zajedno kada već ne mogu biti u vezi. U tome su uspjeli i sada imaju sina. Oni međutim nisu rekli svojoj obitelji i prijateljima za tu situaciju. Glumili su dvije godine da su zajedno, a onda su tobože prekinuli sve samo da ne uznemire konzervativne roditelje.
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U proteklih godinu dana u porastu su agencije i stranice koje omogućavaju ljudima da nađu partnere, međutim ne za romantičnu vezu nego zajedničkih svjetonazora u pitanjima vezanima za roditeljstvo kako bi skupa imali dijete. Gay muškarci i žene odavno se tako nalaze i dogovaraju kako bi mogli imati djecu, ali sada to radi i sve veći broj heteroseksualnih partnera, piše The Guardian.
Jenica Anderson i Stephen DuVal upoznali su se preko jedne takve stranice. Ona je iz SAD-a, a on Kanađanin. Oboje su pokušali pronaći osobu s kojom će se prvo sami intimno povezati, pa tek onda razmišljati o djeci, ali im to nije polazilo za rukom. Kako su već u kasnim tridesetima zaključili su da bi bilo dobro što prije dobiju dijete i prijavili su se na istu stranicu.
Njihove biografije pokazivale su da imaju slične stavove po pitanju obrazovanja i zdravstva, da imaju slične prihode, da su im pogledi na život u ključnim stvarima uglavnom slični i da traže istu stvar, osobu s kojom bi mogli u neromantičnom odnosu dobiti dijete.
Prvi put su se nakon dugih razgovora našli u Vancouveru u Kanadi. Susret opisuju nalik dateu, išli su planinariti, kupali su se u jezeru i uživali u razgovoru, osim što nije bilo napetosti i oboje su bili posve iskreni da su tu zbog zajedničkog cilja.
Ovo je poprilično novi fenomen kojim se prva počela baviti profesorica Susan Golombok sa Sveučilišta Cambridge. Ona je proučavala obitelji između gay majki i očeva, majki koje su samohrane odlukom, donacije sperme, jaja i surogat majčinstvo. Njeni zaključci su da je i u takvim odnosima vrlo povoljno za dijete da su roditelji bliski i međusobno povezani te da imaju kvalitetnu komunikaciju. U tome im čak mogu pomoći ovi pojednostavljeni odnosi u kojima nema kompliciranja zbog prijašnjih emocija.
Anderson kaže kako je ona jako htjela da njeno dijete ima oca pa nije htjela zatrudnjeti tek tako s bilo kim. Iskustvo je skupila u svom prvom braku iz kojeg ima sina. Ona i njen muž rastavili su se vrlo brzo nakon što se rodio dječak, ali su ostali u odličnim odnosima radi njega i to joj je dalo vjeru da to može napraviti opet.
Njeni roditelji nisu bili toliko uvjereni, smatra da im je njena odluka donijela mnogo besanih noći. Njezin otac je govorio da se brine oko financija, ali ona sumnja da su se oboje djelomično pitali koliko je moralno to što čini.
Postoji više metoda kako zatrudnjeti, neki parovi odlaze na umjetnu oplodnju, neki u kući pokušavaju zanijeti metodom velike šprice dok neki parovi koji osjećaju djelomičnu privlačnost i povezanost zatrudne na prirodan način. To je bio slučaj i kod ovoga para. U početku su mislili da će ići kliničkim putem, ali nakon što su proveli neko vrijeme skupa shvatili su da nema potrebe. Ona je pratila svoju ovulaciju i na zajedničkom putovanju ostala je trudna.
Jedan drugi par ima nešto drugačiju priču. Njih dvoje su prvo preko agencije pokušali kao par, ali kada to nije išlo shvatili su da su im pogledi na svijet slični i odlučili se barem imati dijete zajedno kada već ne mogu biti u vezi. U tome su uspjeli i sada imaju sina. Oni međutim nisu rekli svojoj obitelji i prijateljima za tu situaciju. Glumili su dvije godine da su zajedno, a onda su tobože prekinuli sve samo da ne uznemire konzervativne roditelje.
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20. svibanj 2024 18:07
